It has indeed been an amazing time. However it has also been a tough and costly time.

I freely admit that I am not the most motivated of people and I suffer greatly from apathy, and the typical “I’m not good enough” days (or longer) that most of us go through (certainly many artists that I speak to do). This has meant that I have not done as well financially as I probably could. Yet the support of my every loving and amazing parents, and of course my friends, who apart from being an additional source of encouragement have keep me going by giving me business. has kept me going through all this. Of course tax credits and benefits have helped keep me afloat longer.

Its been interesting over these years to see my art develop and mature (at least I think it has). In part this is through doing it as a job, in part because I now put the time in (ahem… although could put in alot more), and of course in part due to going back for short courses at art college (I’d love to go to art college at least part time but thats not a possibility).

Now that I know people outside those I know like my work (well, some must, they buy it… sometimes). However trying to figure out what sells and what doesn’t still eludes me, and probably will for a long time. It probably doesn’t help that some of my works appeal to one group, another bunch of work to a different group and so on. In that vein of thought I am looking at more places to sell my work but they are surprisingly far and few between for digital art  prints (many only allow photos), and obviously it pays to be careful where I put up my work. Currently I have three online stores, for those that don’t know, Redbubble, DeviantArt, and Zazzle. Each have brought in some money and each in their own way and time.

The need to expand my reach is obvious, the how not so much. Although I do think that I have a few ideas:

• the creation of a leaflet which I hope to send out to churches to advertise my “worship art”as well as print design. I would love to extend my reach outside the church community but that requires a significant expenditure.
• at last finish off an art book that I can either get made myself or sell through various online self publishing companies. A couple of people have mentioned they would like to see one and I want to make one that has text to help explain and comment on my work.
• I want to try and get an exhibition of my work in an actual gallery, however this is easier said than done and something I need to figure out how I can do it. The creation of the art book should help as I can remove much of the text and create a portfolio I can send to galleries.
• I would love to start selling my work myself, however the logistics of this make it less appealing but it would open up Etsy as a way to sell some work (although I’m sure if they would allow me to sell prints).

One issue (of many) that I do need to overcome is that of self promotion, its not something I am good at, but if I want my work to reach more and more people in the hopes that more and more buy my work so I can keep doing this… because lets be frank I cannot keep going much longer, certainly not as a full time part of my life. So, I do need to start doing promoting myself and my work more. Again my family and friends have been great at promoting my work (and they are cheaper than advertising ), and I am ever thankful to them.

In that note, I am painting (also hopefully selling some prints/stickers) at the All Scotland Youth councils which is always a privilege and something I haven’t done in a bit so it will be good to again stretch myself doing it (hopefully will get an idea on something cool I could do instead of just a canvas an paint). Also I am looking at moving (although my end of tenancy date is two days before Youth Councils which could be fun) in the hopes of getting a slighter better and bigger flat for not much more cost (I can dream). Hopefully it will mean I can have enough space to permanently put up an easel so I can return to regular painting as well as my digital work, an actual studio (either in the flat or external) is probably asking a bit much but would be nice .

I think that covers this, well, “situation report” of where I am four years on… in the words of my teachers from school “could do better if he applied himself more”

Laters

This is a difficult subject and one I am sure I will struggle to accurately and cover, but I will try my best. I will try and keep it focused to try and help keep it on track.

So, in the words of Joker, and here we go…

Anonymity…

By its nature, or at least its apparent nature, the internet has been a place where we can recreate ourselves, forge a new and bolder identity. We create nicknames, identities sometimes common between multiple websites, an online identity that defines us and yet provides a later of protection and anonymity.

Know, I use a common nickname across multiple sites, Lurch Kimded, and it is easily seen by a search that I also use this in conjunction with my real name, Adam Howie. So I have already linked my “real life” with my “virtual life”, but for others, for a variety of reasonable, and for some insignificant reasons, this is not an option as it can have “real world” implications, which are covered later.

Anonymity gives protection for those that need it to be able to gain the courage to speak. For me, for a long time before I really linked the two identities, it allowed me to create a persona online that was more confident and more articulate than I am in real life, due to the nature of being to take my time in replying and then editing and re-editing what I wrote (although some would doubt this after reading this post I am sure ).

It can also allow the person to explore issues that they would not feel comfortable with exploring if there was no degree of anonymity. For example think what would happen if a person knew everything they said in confidence in a private session was not only to be made public but also that their name was to be attached to it for all to see with a simple search of google? An extreme example I grant, but it does help, I hope, to try and paint the advantage that some degree of anonymity can bring in certain forums.

However this same “protection” is also a way others can hide as they create dissent, hate, vile, and abuse (more commonly known as “trolls” and “trolling”). It also allows more sensible people who through the anonymous nature of nicknames (which of course many change across sites) have no fear of a real life implication of their online activity (in general) and so they lash out in anger spewing forth vitriol online that they would never say in a face to face discussion/ This activity of course feeds itself, and so grows, fuelled by trolls and the ego bolstering of anonymity and becomes a a “flame war”. (I realise this is over simplifying but I think it sums up the state of forums and comment threads across the web for those lucky enough to not know what its like… of course they’ll probably not be reading this so its a bit moot really)

Spam of course is also an issue, but is, for the post at least, a side issue.

Of course, a part of this aggressive nature of anonymity is in part due to a lack of maturity but also a lack of online etiquette, which when I first started on the internet (back in the hazy days of the mid-nineties) was something most knew about and adhered to, for the most part.

This aggressive trolling and hiding behind nicknames has led to some of the most vile and hate filled things you will ever read being written, being found in comment feeds, forum posts, and across the web. The instant nature of the internet has meant people read something that provokes a reaction, they start to types, spew forth their anger, and then post without thought or care of its impact. Some even seek out places where people discuss sensitive issues and deliberately provoke reaction either out of a twisted sense of fun or because they believe they know better and everyone else is wrong.

These “discussions” quickly fall apart and descend as the dark side of anonymity starts to work its way even into more balanced responders and like a self fuelling fire it explodes and descends deeper into hate, vile, and idiotic logic and dogma, to the point that it can effectively (and sometime literally) descend into playground insults from even in the most lofty and highbrow of forums.

So, that leads us neatly (well sort of neatly) onto what about the removal of anonymity which can cause such powerful and drastic negatives?

Removal of anonymity… its pros and cons

So, with such dangers of anonymity some places are removing it and making sure you have to use your real name. This of course has its pros and cons, which I will try and equally handle, although in the interest of openness (no pun intended) I will state now that I do tend to be against a removal of anonymity, in general. I will also probably miss some points on both sides, but hey thats what comments are for (just play nice )

The positive side of removing anonymity.

The biggest positive is that it would remove the negative side of anonymity, in that it would reduce trolling (and probably spam), and it would make people think about what they post. If you can be easier held to account for what you say then many (but not all lets be honest) will be less likely to shoot off their mouth so to speak knowing that a prospective employer, for example (as its the one everyone uses), could see what they wrote.

Also that because of this people would spend a bit more time thinking about responding, and may not even respond in the end as they will have calmed down or thought about what was said more clearly. In addition many have said that that it could lead to more genuine interactions and potentially help create more, and more developed, online friendships.

The negative side of removing anonymity.

Some of the negative sides touted are quite insignificant if we are honest, but there are some more valid concerns.

There is of course the dissolving of boundaries, such as those between personal and corporate. Its the most common used example of a prospective employer again, as they could easily find out your personal habits/forums/haunts and read what you have to say. Now while its an ideal to live as if we had nothing to hide, in truth because prejudice exists we cannot guarantee that because someone sees we are an active member of the “Environmentalists for Simpler Vegetable Packaging” forum that they will be ok with this and not allow it to influence their decision on you if they happen to be climate change denier.

This also links to to the danger of cyber (and even real life) stalking, which is also linked to those who for various reasons need to keep their privacy. There are many people on the internet that need to remain anonymous for various reasons (some more valid than others), if a forum where you want to be active and involved demand your real name (and you cant fake it) you could find something open and free suddenly becomes closed off because of a circumstance beyond your control. In a less serious example, take the cult of celebrity, be it the more A-list or even internet celebrities (such as e-sports, youtube, deviantart, etc) it could increase the chance certain, and I cant think of better phrase but, less well balanced individuals could harass and stalk them online.

Now I admit this last negative is a less likely scenario, but it is a possible one, it is known that bullying and harassment happens online and has had, to some degree or another, a real life impact. A removal of anonymity could result in some people being found outside the forums in question and harassed in other online spaces (or worse). There are people online that are that dedicated and unbalanced enough to do this. There is also a big concern for women who have a big enough probable being accepted by many, especially in gaming circles.

The biggest issue for me, is also a potential saving grace, how can a forum guarantee a removal of anonymity, by for example using real names? If so how do they check, credit card? Or trust? If credit card that could work, but not everyone has one, and if paypal then its a lot easier to create a fake name. If its on trust then what is to stop people using fake names and there by just re-establishing a new type of anonymity.

This issue alone raises my biggest red flag for if you cannot guarantee that all your posters are genuine and are who they say they are, what is the difference between nicknames and this form of identity?

Other solutions

So what do I think are the best alternatives?

Well, I have an idea, its not original and its not perfect. Firstly everyone signs up to a set up rule of etiquette, breaking them gives a warning, multiple warnings gives temporary ban, multiple bans equals permanent ban, with of course some violations resulting in various instant bans. This of course more effective and active moderators in a forum/website/etc who are held to account by the member of the site as well as the owner of the site/forum/company/whatever.

Also public nicknames, but with private verified real names. Everyone must have a verified real name (not sure how but hey its just an idea) but it is keep private and only accessible by staff/moderators for use in banning and IP tracking of banned users.

To be honest I think the biggest solution is to keep the anonymity but just educate people to be more polite, civil, and more accepting of each other… although to be honest that probably a bigger stretch of the imagination that almost anything.

Concluding thoughts

I am not in favour of a complete removal of anonymity, I can see its positives and even agree with them but because I don’t think it will work as well as it could, not currently anyway, and not in the places that its currently being rolled out. Places that are infamous for overly dedicated, overly passionate individuals who exploded at the slightest thing (of course this change has REALLY caused an explosion).

But how to wrap this up, anonymity or not, lets be blunt, if its on the open internet, then be under no illusion it is not private wither you use nicknames or not, and you should not be surprised when its out there (take note all you people taking photos of you doing stupid things drunk). The internet is, in general, public, and is becoming increasing so.

Be smart, and be safe when posting.

Anyway, not sure if I covered everything as well as I could, but lets hear your views… just be polite

EDIT:

Rock Paper Shotgun, talks about the Blizzard move and the anonymity subject… LINK
A really quite interesting post (8 points) by “Nattie” as it effects WoW… LINK
And the BBC chips in – LINK

EDIT2:
Blizzard backs down and changes it mind over using real names in forums – LINK

• As Patient As The Forest – first attempt at a photomanip art in a while, you can see a  WIP and original image here
• New Business Card - haven’t got them printed yet but I am quite happy with the new look
• Hydralisk – still a bit obsessed with Blizzards StarCraft 2 (which comes out end of July) and this is a sketch of a unit in the game from my favourite race the Zerg… <skitter>
• Two New Works – Two works finished in one day, Pain From Within and Foreboding Forest… I have to admit that I am really happy with each of them in their own way (WIPs… here and here)
• Requiem – created for a CGTalk Daily Sketch Thread
• Fluffy Fighters – a sketch, and a possible idea for a fun wee toshirt design series… maybe

Thats yer lot… laters

• Figure in the woods – for a quick image and something I hadn’t planned I really quite like it
• Big Dig Poster – still not heard back if this poster is ok… hopefully it should be
• Heretic – a t-shirt design I created and even managed to sell a couple of, which is nice…
• Heritage Site Visits – 01 and 02 – the weather has improved and so again we venture out to various sites
• Comfort – a reworking of an older image, think this one works alot better

And so time passes…

• Lost Persephone – to be honest the more I look at this the less happy I am, but it was an attempt at an environment picture which I do not do enough of
• Resting – an experiment in trying to get a charcoal like effect in photoshop, think it worked ok, still need to learn to use more references…
• Found Fashion – image for a poster design for Leith Found Fashion show… no sure if I was successful in getting my design chosen or not yet, but at any rate I like the image
• Alien – I think it looks cute… whatever it is…
• Natural History Museum Sketches – now I look back I am quite pleased with these really quick sketches done at the nhm
• Lost Soul Garden – a collaboration between myself and Thomas (aka @headphonaught)

Thats yer lot… laters

I quite like writing really short passages to try and get a better feel for a story or a setting. They are never that well written but they do help give me a feel for the setting. They are very brief, sketchy… the best analogy I have is thumbnail sketches in art, they are not the full picture but a way to better get and idea of where you are heading, even if some get binned.

So here are three I have been working on, they do focus on some of the darker aspects of the setting, particularly the resistance, a couple do explore, in a very quick way, the theme of what is terrorism, and how one mans terrorism is another mans freedom fighter or just cause… which is much better explored in other media like “V for Vendetta”.

Anyway, you have been warned…

#0001
The metallic square door slide effortlessly open, its bolts and seals retracting with barely a noise, Alison walked into the compact bridge, his four other bridge crew at their places. Each of their consoles, set at equally around a central station, were full of a constant stream of information, the walls of the bridge illuminated with an augmented view of the space outside. She took her seat in the centre of the four, a multitude of small screens flickered on around his chair, he quickly inspected one of the screens that was in his main field of view which seemed to be full of reports. “Whats our status?”

The young woman in front of her to the right spoke without taking her eyes of her screens. “Sir, we are closing in on the colony, so far we have received no communications from it. Initial communication sweeps show no activity. We are currently running silently.”

The man to her left then spoke. “All weapon systems have been triple checked and configured. All are ready to be made live.”

One of the men behind her then spoke, “Engine and life support are functioning with parameters, no unusual activity or readings.”

“We are within maximum passive scanner range of the colony. Probes are ready when needed. Initial passive scans show the terrain around the colony and confirm the colony position and size.”

“Excellent, our mission still stands, we are to investigate why this colony has gone silent and if appropriate resolve the situation. Launch probes and do a detailed scan of the colony, engage weapons systems, tell the crew to go to red alert, and open up communication systems.”

“Aye sir!” came the uniform response.

“This is Captain Alison Green, loyal solider of the Oligarch Empire, if anyone can hear this please respond.” Silence. “Scans?”

“Negative Captain, the colony seems deserted, there is literally nothing happening, no life signs, no electronic signatures, no power anywhere. No signs of battle, no unusual radiation signatures.”

“How many life signs should there be?”

“976 Human, 10 Gar’oui’a Commanders.”

“Something is not right, the resistance isn’t good enough to take an entire colony without a fire fight. What is going on here? Take us closer, carefully.”

The ship silently slide through space edging towards the small mining colony on the gas giants moon. Alison sat pensive, a deep look of concentration in her eyes, the screens continued spewing data and the large display around here let her see everything around the ship. Soon they were in orbit around the colony.

“Still nothing Sir.”

“Do a detailed scan, is there anything.”

“Processing… first images coming on screen.” the front wall zoomed into the middle of the colony, there was nothing there, just buildings and some vehicles attached to the colony walls. As the scan progressed Alison started planning and zooming around on her own display, then suddenly she noticed something.

“Put this area on main screen!” she shouted, the screen filled with a small section of the edge of sealed colony. “There look, the shadow of that vehicle stops before it should against that crater. Its a massive hologram or someth…”

Before she could finish the sentence warning alarms blared as the screens showed the view to the view the colony which was suddenly filled with an closing human cruiser, beat up and battle scarred. “Quick alert the command, we have hostile, it appears to be the resistan…”

“Sir, communications are down, they’re jamming us!” interrupted the female officer.

“What? How?” But before she could finish the screen distorted and there on the screen was a human male.

“Stand down Captain, you are seriously out gunned. If you value the lives of your crew you will surrender.”

The bridge crew looked at their Captain, a mixed look of fear and anger, Alison sunk into her seat. She then sat forward, “Unacceptable, I will not sacrifice this crew to your barbaric resistence, I will however hand over myself if you agree to let this vessel go safely.

There was a pause, “Agreed. However we will be deleting every piece of data. Land your vessel on the colony and you will be taken inside.” The screen switched off.

“Sir?” came the almost united exclamation.

“Its better me than the whole crew, its ok I’ve been trained to resist their torture and interrogations. I will die before I give anything up. As for the logs, I am afraid that a price we will have to pay, we will find out who is helping them. Its been an honour serving with you all. James, you have the chair.” With that Alison stood up saluted and walked out.

The vessel landed on the colony and after a pause the airlocks opened the soliders on the vessel took aim at the single man waiting on the other end. “As agreed Captain, the rest of your crew can leave.” Alison walked forward into the colony airlock and the seals closed shutting her off from her crew and ship.

“Welcome to colony M2-76 Alison, its been a while. Did you manage to get what we needed?”

“Not all of it, I had hoped to get more, I am guessing there is someone else on board who was Resistance apart from me?”

“Afraid I can’t answer that, come in, there are others you have to meet.”

#0002
Out of the huge wall width window a massive city sprawled out in all directions. Even in the dead of night it seemed as bright as day. A well dressed middle age man stood surveying it all, a small video of an attractive young woman appeared in the window near the mans line of sight. “Yes, Miss Redpath?”

“The prisoner is here sir.” Her voice seemed at unease, as her gaze was fixed at someone to her right.

“Send him in, you better go Miss Redpath, take a break.”

She thanked him and the double doors to the spacious minimalist office slide silently open. Filling the doorway where six large soldiers, in heavy armour, four of them carrying rods with nooses attached to the neck, chest, and arms of a thin, bruised, battered, and slightly bloodied man dressed in a day-glow orange jumpsuit.

“Thank you men, attach him to the chair, and wait outside.” The men looked as if to protest, the man just looked sternly at them, and the soldiers then rough-handed the man into the chair which automatically, and firmly secured his limbs and neck. The chair sat alone in the middle of the office, well away from any other item. The soldiers left the two men in the room. “Mr Jameson, you have been quite the trouble maker.”

“I would hate to think I have inconvenienced you, or your masters, in any way Senator Roberts.” sneered Jameson.

Roberts turned round, tapped some glowing icons on the desk, which was a huge glass plane with an expensive looking leather chair behind it, and the doors closed and the window turned into a plan white wall. “Now, Mr Jameson, we must be quick, we can talk freely for now.”

Jameson looked at Roberts disdainfully and then seemed to be concentrating, moments later the lights on the table flickered and then went dark, the only light seemed to be concentrated in the middle of the room around Jameson. “Now we can talk freely.”

“I was under the impression they had deactivated or removed all interfacing technology?”

“I guess they are not as good as they think they are. So, you wanted to talk, then talk?”

“Its not good, thirty resistance members were captured yesterday, obviously they resisted, most of them are now either in hospital or died during questioning. The Oligarch are cracking down more and more, we are loosing more and more battles. We need to rethink, we need to regroup if we stand any chance of getting rid of the Oligrach and truly freeing all of humanity.”

“Some of humanity are free, that gives us hope, gives us a hope that is worth fighting for.”

“Yet the cost is dear.”

“Nothing worthwhile ever comes cheap.”

“Hmph, you should put that on a t-shirt.” Roberts sat down in his chair, his façade dropped he looked like a man weighed down and at breaking point. “I have tried to do what I can, but I think they are beginning to suspect me, so you know that I can’t let you leave without at least some scars, it would draw too many questions.” Jameson nodded. “I am hoping that this weekend I can make a meeting, show my face, let others know I am still fighting in my own small way, to let the other know there are still allies in the government.”

“If you are sure you can do it without drawing too much attention?”

“My driver is loyal, and I have set up a couple of diversions for other reasons so I can sneak about as needed.”

“In that case you can meet a group underneath junction 23a east, 2100. You know the codes. They will take you to the meeting, if you are not followed.”

“Thank you.”

“Whatever, lets just get this over with.”

“Yes, lets… thank you Mr Jameson,” as Roberts pushed the button on his desk, jolts of white hot pain surged through Jameson. Jameson’s body writhed in agony as the pain intensified. “Yes, you have been very useful, I will make sure they know you betrayed them all when they are caught.”

Roberts pushed the button again causing an increase in the pain “Trait…” he managed to get out before he slumped in the chair, barely keeping himself awake.

“Traitor? Hmph. Worthless resistance scum, you are the traitor, I am a merely a humble servant of the mighty Oligarch.”

“You are betraying your own kind, for what? Some power? A better office?”. Stumbled Jameson, breathless, his pain receptors still burning.

“I am not the traitor here, you are. You fail to see the truth, you ignore the gifts the Oligarch bestow upon humanity we could have had peace, we could have ascended with them into the stars, but no, some backward short sighted Neanderthals couldn’t accept progress from an alien.” Roberts pressed the button again.

After the waves of pain stopped Jameson pressed another button, the room lightened and returned to normal. “We are done, I got what I needed, I see no need to continue, I take little pleasure in this form of torture. Men, you can come in and take him to termination…” No reply came from the coms, “Men? … MEN!?!”

“Give me some credit Senator, do you really think that I would be that careless.” Jameson began to stand up out of the chair his bounds undone, wiping blood from his mouth, “The only reason I was captured was so I could came here to deliver this message in person. Traitors will pay…” Jameson moved closer as Roberts became to shout and scream for help that would not come. His desk flickering back to life and playing every recorded torture session, every time he betrayed humanity, the walls flickered and began the playback as well… the last images he would see, the last things he would hear.

#0003
Peter still couldn’t hear anything, he hadn’t got the timing right, he was far too close. He could taste a mixture of blood, soot, and dirt in his mouth. He slowly picked himself up from the ground, still dazed he looked around, all around him were others, most of them in worse condition that he was. He started to leave, wiping blood from his nose and ears, it was then he heard the sirens blaring. They got the timing wrong, a patrol was too close.

His chest was in agony, as he moved he could tell something was seriously wrong with his back, as he tried to run he noticed there was also something wrong with one of his legs, it was covered in blood and dirt and looked messed up, some of the blood was his, although at least some came from the woman lying six feet behind him.. He couldn’t let himself get involved, he had to suppress any feelings, any compassion, any desire to help, he had to leave before they got here.

As he limped to the corner he clumsy put his bloodied hand on a wall, he couldn’t believe it, he could have got away, he could have made it without leaving anything, now they had his hand print and he didn’t have time to clean it up. Now he couldn’t go home, he couldn’t return to the cell, he was alone and would be hunted with a determined fervour. Once captured he would tortured, and interrogated, and eventually either willingly or through some other way he knew he would eventually give in and give up something.

The ambulances arrived moments after he turned the corner, the soldiers were not far behind them. He had to move. He stumbled his way towards an alleyway he knew would take him along back streets and out of the way. As he crossed the street his luck, what little he had, finally left as a soldier saw him and opened fire. Peter fell into the alleyway to avoid the shots, one tore through his already shredded back, the force threw him into the gloom of the alleyway, this was it, he had no escape, his life was ending, the soldiers were closing in, he only had one more option, he could not be captured, he couldn’t allow himself to betray the cause.

The soldiers carefully piled into the alleyway, and closed in on Peter, he looked at them, as they shouted at him to put his hands in the air and surrender under the authority of the Oligarch Empire. Peter laughed, spat at the their feet, and he looked deep into their eyes and pulled the pin on a grenade and the searing pain stopped as everything became light and for the briefest of moments Peter knew pain unlike anything he had experienced and then…